


Jack why the bread?

by ghosteebo



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bad Puns, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Dumbasses, Fluff, Happy, Jack being Jack, Multi, Oh My God, POV Ianto Jones, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23883328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosteebo/pseuds/ghosteebo
Summary: AU where jack doesn't leave with the doctor and Gwen gets married and everyone is happy and alive. Jack and ianto are in love and no one is depressed yay!Basically ianto is the mother of the group and has to look after 4 morons of a team
Relationships: Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Jack why the bread?

**Author's Note:**

> Had this thought. Made me laugh. A bit of light hearted writing for once. Enjoy <3

After the news of Gwen's recent engagement, Jack bloody harkness in all his wisdom ,decided to throw a party; because everything is better with a party.

Owen, of course, was having the time of his life. Being supplied with free tequila and various other spirits. What could go wrong there? Tosh , in contrast ,seemed slightly more apprehensive about the situation than Owen but loosened up after a few drink and even surprisingly started flirting and dancing with the short medic, finally having enough liquid courage to fall back on as an excuse if it all went to pot.

Jack and Gwen on the other hand , were a whole new level of drunk. 

Gwen, bless her heart, was sat on the floor like a young child; legs folded awkwardly around her as she babbled unintelligible nonsense about how Rhys was the best person she'd ever met, eyes glistening and glossed as she smiled fondly at the memory of her fiancé not two nights ago, tripping over a chair and landing on top of her, ready with a smart ass quip as he landed awkwardly on top of her. And jack. He was lying upside down on the rickety old couch that was somehow still situated in the hub, despite being so broken that there are more holes in it than a cheese grater. The captain looked like a petulant child as he begged ianto to give him his gun back so he could prove that he could shoot an apple off his head while blindfolded, adding to the look a pout and a whine as his lover just kissed him on the head and told him to shut up.

Now not that ianto didn't trust jack, just ianto didn't trust a drunk jack. Especially not when it involved him and a gun. Being the only sober one at the party also meant that he had to do some mediating to stop hell breaking out within the four children that he calls team mates. 

The Welshman ran over to Gwen, stopping her from falling g down the stairs where she was precariously perched, having moved from her previous position on the ground for a higher vantage point to view the impending disaster, quietly telling ianto about how much she loves Rhys as he moved her to a more stable location.

He then rounded on Owen and stopped him from giving himself alcohol poisoning, just because it was free for him does not mean he gets to abuse it and besides if anyone deserves the amount of alcohol that was currently flowing into the doctor's mouth it was ianto. He had to deal with these four idiots all day long. 

A crash sounded startling him from his daydream and the ianto spun quickly to see a disorientated Toshiko sprawled across the floor muttering utter nonsense about weevils and birthdays to herself, lying face down on the floor with half of her desk setup landing on top of her as she continued mumbling and switching languages quite frequently as she spoke.

He did not get paid enough for this.

Unfortunately in all the kerfuffle ianto had forgotten about jack, who had now stopped sulking and had somehow procured five pieces of bread. Where on god's earth he got them from ianto did not know, all he did know was that something smelt fishy about this and he did not like it.

" Hey-yy guyssssss. Shhhhh look w-what I have!!" Jack whispered loudly, attempting and failing to capture anyone's attention except for ianto, who just looked mildly amused at his drunk lover's antics. The captain was gesticulating wildly with five pieces of bread in his hand, even ianto had to admit that was a sight to behold 

"Why do you have five pieces of bread sir?" The slight lilt in his voice allowed a sense of amusement to carry through the query.

"Well yanny yanny iantoooo. I h-have theeese because I'm celebrating" he stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world 

"I'm making a toast! To Gwen and her .. umm what's thattt word? Ohh-husband!"

The sound of ianto's eyeroll was practically audible.

Once again. Ianto thought that he did not get paid anywhere near enough to deal with these morons.

~end~


End file.
